2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
