Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
