you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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