I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
