haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
