I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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