my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize