It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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