i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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