These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
