Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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