She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.