the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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