It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Alive.
So much puke
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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