its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to calm my uterus...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
