she looked like the before picture.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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