no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
