the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
