Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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