my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
