If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
