When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
