Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
