The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
