Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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