its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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