I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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