so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize