I seem to have left my pride at pride
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
