YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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