My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
