it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
