apparently the secret to your success is patron
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The uberlube is also flammable
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
