my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
