Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
