I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
