so that wasnt chicken after all
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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