Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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