i just sent this text using only my big toe
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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