We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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