It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
