chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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