it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
