Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
