I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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