"it" just moved
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
