youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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