I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
