He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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