I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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