My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
