just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
