He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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