the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She even gives head with a lisp.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
