you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
