Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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