I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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