is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
