What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
