is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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