She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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