I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize