There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
