sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
