we're blogging at a bar
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
