we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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