This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
