I love black thongs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
